So we all know the classic wives' tales and each culture has their fair share of erroneous advice and information regarding a wide variety of topics. For instance, don't eat anything an hour before swimming or you'll get cramps. We've all heard them and for a short time believed some of them until the wonderful world of medicine proved them wrong. In our cultural adventures in missions, we have run across a unique Salvadoran blend of medical advice and information given honestly and sincerely, albeit sincerely off target. Keep in mind that like our own wives' tales, these are things that people really believe and it's just because they've been told that their whole lives and don't know otherwise. Now for a list of my absolute favorites.
1. A very dear MA friend of ours was thirsty and asked for a glass of water with ice. At this point, an older Salvadoran woman informed her that the reason she was "gordita", chubby, was because she drank cold drinks and used a lot of ice. According to said grey-hair, ice didn't digest in the body, froze inside of you, and caused you to get fat. Yes....that's America's problem, too much ice tea! Ice = Fat. Our beloved friend shared this amazing discovery with some younger Salvadoran friends, seeking agreement at the hilarity of such belief, only to be met with, "That's exactly right and we were thinking the same thing but didn't say it." Dead. Serious.
2. When speaking with an older gentleman about Kai's situation, with the pneumonia and all, he informed me of yet another unknown fact regarding iced drinks and ice cream. Apparently, if the pregnant woman eats too much ice cream and drinks a lot of cold drinks, that can cause the baby to get cold and actually develop colds and pneumonia in the womb. So, apparently Lisa's love of Cookie Monster Gelatto is what caused Kai to be in such pulmonary distress. I think I'm gonna sue....hey, it almost worked for the family blaming McDonald's for their fat kid!
3. Today, Lisa was speaking with a lady about pregnancy and foods that you cannot eat afterwards. If you are breast feeding, you cannot eat pork. Said eating of pork will cause your child to develop a snout like appearance, with scrunched up nose and puckered lips. There is some rare porcine enzyme that is apparently transferred through the milk, causing snout-like features in children. That's what happened to Gilbert Godfrey!
4. Another great food no-no for after birth is concerning C-section wounds. You may NOT under any circumstance drink orange juice, eat oranges or watermelon. My wife has had some pain in her wound, and rightly so for only having past 12 days, but apparently these 2 vicious fruits attack wounds and make them hurt even worse. Vitamin C for CRIPPLING PAIN!
5. While breastfeeding, it is incredibly important to keep your back and shoulders covered, no matter how hot or cold, because not covering yourself properly will cause your milk to dry up.
6. You cannot go around barefoot or wearing sandals without socks. You HAVE to wear socks at all times, because if not you'll get calf pains and leg cramps.
7. Another wonderful bit of advice came out of conversation concerning my wife's c-section, which is a major operation. A sweet lady told Lisa that she has NEVER had surgery because she took care of herself when she was younger. She always wore and wears a sweater, keeps her head covered, wears socks, and puts cotton in her ears when it is cold/windy to keep the "bad wind" out. The bad wind is what gives you ear aches and headaches. You apparently to don't feel these things when you are younger, but when you get older it all gets you. Her children didn't have any problems and all had natural births except for one, who apparently didn't follow this advice. So, incredibly enough, if you want to avoid any kind of surgery, cover the head, shoulders, ears, and feet. Otherwise....snip, snip, cut, cut.
There may be more to follow, but that's just a few for now. Hope you enjoy and remember, before you hop to criticize, think about some of the things you believe "because mama told you so!"
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Day 13 - The fun continues....
It's been raining most of the last 24 hours, starting at about 2 am this morning. It's funny how at times the weather really can reflect the mood that one is in. Let me explain....
We awoke this morning rather optimistic because Lisa was going to be able to breast feed for the first time, a huge step in Kai's development, and we were ecstatic. We had to get up earlier than usual in order to be at the hospital by 9 am for his morning feeding. So, running a little late (we are in El Salvador after all), we headed off to the hospital anxious to see what awaited us.
When we arrived at the hospital they told us that he was going to continue on the feeding tube for another day. Apparently yesterday after we left, he acted tired and labored to breath some. They watched him because his levels dropped and they almost put the respirator tube back in, but he pulled back up. They said that they wanted to watch him today and see how he did before trying to introduce the breast. They said that he would get excited trying to feed and that could affect him, so they wanted to make sure he was good before progressing.
The doctor came out to talk to us about what was going on. He said that yesterday Kai's infection levels had increased. They have been monitoring his white cell levels daily, because that shows the existence of an infection in the body, the higher the level the more infection. His levels had been lowering, but yesterday they went up to 35K cells in the morning, which sparked some concern. Instead of rushing to change things (because he was already on the best antibiotic), they waited to check his levels a little later. Later in the day the levels were around 32K, going down some. They suspected a fungal infection, which is common when you are on strong antibiotic for a length of time. Antibiotics kill off good bacteria too, which causes normally healthy fungi in the body to get out of control, resulting in infection. They started him on an anti-fungal treatment as well, on top of the antibiotic, and this morning his levels had returned to around 26-27K.
So, what does all this mean? Where are we now? Honestly, confused. The doc explained that it would still be a day or two on the CPAP and then from there he would move to the nursery, out of the NICU, which is good news; however, that wasn't all he had to say. It would be a few days in the nursery before he could go home, but they want him to finish his meds and make sure he is healthy before sending him home. They also want to make sure that he can feed on his own without tuckering out or anything. So, now what? Doc said that optimistically speaking (of course it all depends on the baby), we're looking at another week.
7 MORE DAYS? Welcome to parental hell, a place of frustration, anger, sadness, helplessness, exhaustion, etc. I'm growing tired of the same routine. 13 days of getting up, getting ready, going to the hospital for a little visit, and then spending the rest of my day trying to occupy myself until the next morning. I can't focus, can't really relax, rest, etc. because all my hope and sights are set on the as of yet ethereal discharge date. We rise each morning looking for good news and sometimes are rewarded with met expectations and other days met with a gentle slap in the face from "healing hands" of medical professionals. Their news isn't intended to harm, but to inform, and while I appreciate their honesty, I just want to hear "he's going home tomorrow."
We were both understandably hurt and saddened by the news today. Lisa went in to see Kai, broken-hearted at the news of delay. I curled up in the floor of the waiting area, alone, on the verge of either putting my hand through the nearest wall or sinking to the fetal position to weep like a child. Why God? Why the delay? What purpose can there be in keeping our child from us? You blessed us with this child, this miracle, but why do You keep him out of our grasp?
The doctor came out and talked to me, trying to console and encourage, but how can you honestly expect me to be happy about the news of further delay? The same happened with Lisa in the NICU, another doctor attempting to console. Just let me be upset! Let me cry! Let me scream! You don't understand! We live in an empty home, one we expected to be filled with laughter, giggles, and little fart sounds. Yet we sit in an empty home, void of the infantile noises for which we waited so long.
Head down, knees to my chest, I fumed. I don't understand any of this. I've seen open doors through what has happened, had the opportunity to touch lives, heard stories of lives touched because of Kai's story, but 13 days and I still have to go through more? What more could we possibly need to pass through? Isn't this enough? God, I don't see the purpose in such suffering and torment! And yet in that moment of quite hatred and bitterness, my attitude shifted, as if a switch had been flipped. Emotion redirected at the true source of all things evil, the arch nemesis of our souls, Satan. I walloped that filthy snake for about 10 minutes, lashing out in anger at the one who comes to steal, kill, and destroy. "Greater is He who is in me, than he that is the world." "No weapon formed against me shall prosper!" "We are human, but we don't wage war as humans do. We fight with weapons that are different than the weapons the world uses. Our weapons have power from God that can destroy the enemy's strong places. We destroy people's arguments and every proud thing that raises itself up against the knowledge of God." I'm sure he walked away from this morning with 2 black eyes, because "the Word of God is living and active, stronger than any double-edged sword, able to divide soul and spirit, joints and morrow."
I then immediately passed into a time of worship, singing out loud in praise to my God. Who cares who passed by or was sitting near, my voice needed to ring out in praise to my Creator, the One who gives life, who heals, who makes whole, who works miracles. Just as Paul and Silas sat in chains in a prison cell, locked away for the crime of sharing the Gospel, I sat in my own prison of anger and frustration. The stale air flooded their nostrils, the monotonous "drip, drip" of water ringing through the dank, murky depths of that prison, and in the middle of what should have been the depths of despair, two gravely, tone-deaf voices belted out praise to their God and Savior. In my quiet moment of suffering and despair, I allowed my spirit to connect with the Spirit of my Creator and I could do nothing more than worship Him. My voice raised, like those 2 voices 2,000 years ago, in the stale, sterile air of the NICU waiting room, my voice lifted in worship to my God. "I will praise the Lord, I will praise the Lord" "Hosanna, Hosanna" "In the Presence of Jehovah, God Almighty, Prince of Peace. Troubles vanish, hearts are mended, in the presence, of the King."
Immediately, like the bright rays of sun piercing the seemingly impenetrable wall of dark thunderheads, the joy and peace of God flooded my heart. I reaffirmed my confidence in the Savior of my soul, confirming my faith in His unfailing love and perfect plans. Whatever has happened has happened for a purpose. He does nothing by chance or for no reason, but in everything He works for the good of His perfect will. We are playing a vital role in His plan and this dark night will result in victory for my God. Every scar is a testimony, every dark night the promise of a brighter dawn. This time in my life will only serve to reflect and magnify the glory of God to the world.
"Be full of joy in the LORD always, I will say it again: Be full of joy in the LORD! Let every one see that you are gentle and kind. The LORD is coming soon. Do not worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks. And God's peace, which is so great that we cannot understand it, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
We are not told that we will have an easy life serving God, but we are guaranteed of peace IN the midst of a storm. He doesn't always calm the storms, but at times calms us instead. These words from Paul remind us of the need to rejoice in all situations. We cannot be worried or anxious about life, stressing ourselves out over the situations that arise. We are not ultimately in control and to worry about something I don't control shows contempt for the One who does. Stress is the opposite of faith, attempting to exert power over something we are powerless to manage. A pastor friend of mine, Norm Dubois, mentioned this exact passage in a podcast sermon I listened to today. Vs. 6 speaks of not worrying and praying, with thanksgiving, and vs. 7 promises God's peace to us. Norm said, "You can't have verse 7 without doing verse 6."
We cannot expect the peace of God to flood our lives if we don't open the floodgates through thanksgiving and prayer. If we don't open that part of our heart to Him, giving Him the reins, we can't expect His peace. You don't get B without A. However, when we give Him thanks for who He is, laying our requests at His feet, He takes control, removes stress, and floods us with His peace.
Father, I thank you that YOU are the healer, the redeemer, the maker, the sustainer. You are the one who gave me this child, blessed us with this strong, warrior of a son. He is yours and we have dedicated him to Your service. Thank you that You are in control and everything is according to YOUR plan. We relinquish all stress and pain, giving you all anger, bitterness, sorrow, sadness, etc., asking you to work YOUR will in this situation. Have YOUR way. And we accept and receive that peace that we cannot understand to guard our hearts and minds. Amen!
We awoke this morning rather optimistic because Lisa was going to be able to breast feed for the first time, a huge step in Kai's development, and we were ecstatic. We had to get up earlier than usual in order to be at the hospital by 9 am for his morning feeding. So, running a little late (we are in El Salvador after all), we headed off to the hospital anxious to see what awaited us.
When we arrived at the hospital they told us that he was going to continue on the feeding tube for another day. Apparently yesterday after we left, he acted tired and labored to breath some. They watched him because his levels dropped and they almost put the respirator tube back in, but he pulled back up. They said that they wanted to watch him today and see how he did before trying to introduce the breast. They said that he would get excited trying to feed and that could affect him, so they wanted to make sure he was good before progressing.
The doctor came out to talk to us about what was going on. He said that yesterday Kai's infection levels had increased. They have been monitoring his white cell levels daily, because that shows the existence of an infection in the body, the higher the level the more infection. His levels had been lowering, but yesterday they went up to 35K cells in the morning, which sparked some concern. Instead of rushing to change things (because he was already on the best antibiotic), they waited to check his levels a little later. Later in the day the levels were around 32K, going down some. They suspected a fungal infection, which is common when you are on strong antibiotic for a length of time. Antibiotics kill off good bacteria too, which causes normally healthy fungi in the body to get out of control, resulting in infection. They started him on an anti-fungal treatment as well, on top of the antibiotic, and this morning his levels had returned to around 26-27K.
So, what does all this mean? Where are we now? Honestly, confused. The doc explained that it would still be a day or two on the CPAP and then from there he would move to the nursery, out of the NICU, which is good news; however, that wasn't all he had to say. It would be a few days in the nursery before he could go home, but they want him to finish his meds and make sure he is healthy before sending him home. They also want to make sure that he can feed on his own without tuckering out or anything. So, now what? Doc said that optimistically speaking (of course it all depends on the baby), we're looking at another week.
7 MORE DAYS? Welcome to parental hell, a place of frustration, anger, sadness, helplessness, exhaustion, etc. I'm growing tired of the same routine. 13 days of getting up, getting ready, going to the hospital for a little visit, and then spending the rest of my day trying to occupy myself until the next morning. I can't focus, can't really relax, rest, etc. because all my hope and sights are set on the as of yet ethereal discharge date. We rise each morning looking for good news and sometimes are rewarded with met expectations and other days met with a gentle slap in the face from "healing hands" of medical professionals. Their news isn't intended to harm, but to inform, and while I appreciate their honesty, I just want to hear "he's going home tomorrow."
We were both understandably hurt and saddened by the news today. Lisa went in to see Kai, broken-hearted at the news of delay. I curled up in the floor of the waiting area, alone, on the verge of either putting my hand through the nearest wall or sinking to the fetal position to weep like a child. Why God? Why the delay? What purpose can there be in keeping our child from us? You blessed us with this child, this miracle, but why do You keep him out of our grasp?
The doctor came out and talked to me, trying to console and encourage, but how can you honestly expect me to be happy about the news of further delay? The same happened with Lisa in the NICU, another doctor attempting to console. Just let me be upset! Let me cry! Let me scream! You don't understand! We live in an empty home, one we expected to be filled with laughter, giggles, and little fart sounds. Yet we sit in an empty home, void of the infantile noises for which we waited so long.
Head down, knees to my chest, I fumed. I don't understand any of this. I've seen open doors through what has happened, had the opportunity to touch lives, heard stories of lives touched because of Kai's story, but 13 days and I still have to go through more? What more could we possibly need to pass through? Isn't this enough? God, I don't see the purpose in such suffering and torment! And yet in that moment of quite hatred and bitterness, my attitude shifted, as if a switch had been flipped. Emotion redirected at the true source of all things evil, the arch nemesis of our souls, Satan. I walloped that filthy snake for about 10 minutes, lashing out in anger at the one who comes to steal, kill, and destroy. "Greater is He who is in me, than he that is the world." "No weapon formed against me shall prosper!" "We are human, but we don't wage war as humans do. We fight with weapons that are different than the weapons the world uses. Our weapons have power from God that can destroy the enemy's strong places. We destroy people's arguments and every proud thing that raises itself up against the knowledge of God." I'm sure he walked away from this morning with 2 black eyes, because "the Word of God is living and active, stronger than any double-edged sword, able to divide soul and spirit, joints and morrow."
I then immediately passed into a time of worship, singing out loud in praise to my God. Who cares who passed by or was sitting near, my voice needed to ring out in praise to my Creator, the One who gives life, who heals, who makes whole, who works miracles. Just as Paul and Silas sat in chains in a prison cell, locked away for the crime of sharing the Gospel, I sat in my own prison of anger and frustration. The stale air flooded their nostrils, the monotonous "drip, drip" of water ringing through the dank, murky depths of that prison, and in the middle of what should have been the depths of despair, two gravely, tone-deaf voices belted out praise to their God and Savior. In my quiet moment of suffering and despair, I allowed my spirit to connect with the Spirit of my Creator and I could do nothing more than worship Him. My voice raised, like those 2 voices 2,000 years ago, in the stale, sterile air of the NICU waiting room, my voice lifted in worship to my God. "I will praise the Lord, I will praise the Lord" "Hosanna, Hosanna" "In the Presence of Jehovah, God Almighty, Prince of Peace. Troubles vanish, hearts are mended, in the presence, of the King."
Immediately, like the bright rays of sun piercing the seemingly impenetrable wall of dark thunderheads, the joy and peace of God flooded my heart. I reaffirmed my confidence in the Savior of my soul, confirming my faith in His unfailing love and perfect plans. Whatever has happened has happened for a purpose. He does nothing by chance or for no reason, but in everything He works for the good of His perfect will. We are playing a vital role in His plan and this dark night will result in victory for my God. Every scar is a testimony, every dark night the promise of a brighter dawn. This time in my life will only serve to reflect and magnify the glory of God to the world.
"Be full of joy in the LORD always, I will say it again: Be full of joy in the LORD! Let every one see that you are gentle and kind. The LORD is coming soon. Do not worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks. And God's peace, which is so great that we cannot understand it, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
We are not told that we will have an easy life serving God, but we are guaranteed of peace IN the midst of a storm. He doesn't always calm the storms, but at times calms us instead. These words from Paul remind us of the need to rejoice in all situations. We cannot be worried or anxious about life, stressing ourselves out over the situations that arise. We are not ultimately in control and to worry about something I don't control shows contempt for the One who does. Stress is the opposite of faith, attempting to exert power over something we are powerless to manage. A pastor friend of mine, Norm Dubois, mentioned this exact passage in a podcast sermon I listened to today. Vs. 6 speaks of not worrying and praying, with thanksgiving, and vs. 7 promises God's peace to us. Norm said, "You can't have verse 7 without doing verse 6."
We cannot expect the peace of God to flood our lives if we don't open the floodgates through thanksgiving and prayer. If we don't open that part of our heart to Him, giving Him the reins, we can't expect His peace. You don't get B without A. However, when we give Him thanks for who He is, laying our requests at His feet, He takes control, removes stress, and floods us with His peace.
Father, I thank you that YOU are the healer, the redeemer, the maker, the sustainer. You are the one who gave me this child, blessed us with this strong, warrior of a son. He is yours and we have dedicated him to Your service. Thank you that You are in control and everything is according to YOUR plan. We relinquish all stress and pain, giving you all anger, bitterness, sorrow, sadness, etc., asking you to work YOUR will in this situation. Have YOUR way. And we accept and receive that peace that we cannot understand to guard our hearts and minds. Amen!
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Day 5 - A little late
Ok, well I originally intended to stay blogging, but with all the business of taking care of a wife with C-section and visiting a baby in the NICU, things kinda get passed over. I do not, however, want to forget this experience and want to share it all with Kai, therefore I'm going to recount the events of certain important days. No one else may care, but we care.
Day 5 - Monday Oct 3. Time to go home, to an empty house... My wife leaves the hospital with an empty womb, the car with an empty car seat, and us both with a vacancy sign blinking in the window of our hearts. How is that we have passed through the past 5 days with all the excitement and emotion of having a child only to go home without the bundle of joy for which we waited almost 9 months in utero and almost 1 1/2 years of attempting to conceive? No words can truly express the feeling of leaving your child behind, in an unfamiliar location, with unfamiliar people, trusting only in God to take care of him. I realize now what it is that many parents go through each year with preemies, birth complications, etc. We are not alone in this venture, but it sure feels like. Not everyone understand what goes on in your mind and heart, especially in those lonely moment at home, when you think about the joy of birth yet don't have the physical presence of what causes that joy.
After 4 very difficult days, Lisa finally got to leave the hospital, ready or not. With Kai at the other hospital across town, there was no reason to stay admitted, racking up an even larger bill. We both got up early in order to start the process, get out, go home to drop off stuff, and take mama over to see the baby for the first time in more than 48 hours. What should have been a rather simple process turned into a nightmare.
Living overseas has certain benefits and difficulties. Insurance and health care fall under both categories. Health care is very cheap and therefore that makes it easier for taking care of things, but when it comes to working with insurance from overseas and payment, that equals big ole fat headache. But the payment process wasn't the only headache we experienced this wonderful Monday.
I went to the nursery early because here in El Salvador we have to have a document from the hospital with the footprints of the child, signed by the attending physician and nurse, in order to register the child and obtain the birth certificate. They also needed this paperwork at the other hospital to prove identification of parents and child and officially, legally register him as a patient. Well, in all the excitement of the first few days, the prints never got taken and he was transferred without it. The head nurse called over there and they gave her a long list of protocol to follow. Instead of simply allowing her to send over the signed paperwork and let THEM take the prints, they told her SHE had to come over, prove her identity, show hospital credentials, and take the prints there. EESSSSH!!! So, I would have to give her a ride over to the hospital that afternoon to take care of this. Ok, whatever. Enter headache number 2....
After this fiasco in the nursery, I went to talk with payment about releasing my wife. We had (supposedly) worked out with the insurance company to pay the bill directly with the hospital without us paying it and getting reimbursed. They typically don't do this, but with the situation they were going to directly bill and pay without us getting involved. Supposedly! The billing department told me that they were not in fact going to do this, that nothing had been arranged, and that the way it worked with our companies clients was we paid the bill and got reimbursed. After 2 hours or so on the phone, we figured out that I would have to pay because there were complications. Running low on minutes on my pre-paid phone, I sat on hold with the credit card company, seeking to get them to wave the foreign transaction fee of 5% because I was getting ready to max my card with a payment from the hospital. Finally, after passing through I don't remember how many people, they agreed. Now, the bill was $12,000 and I did NOT have that kind of limit on my card. How would I pay the rest? I called our headquarters to see what we could do.
My next 2 options presented themselves: they would advance me the money (overdrafting a health account against my name and wait for the reimbursement to pay it back) or they could wire the money directly to the hospital account. I chose door #2. So, we had to work that out with client services. Meanwhile, as I sit in the office hashing through all the details, Lisa, having already checked out of the room, is sitting downstairs, alone, in a wheelchair, waiting for me in pain. It takes over an HOUR to get this part done. The hospital agrees to the arrangement, but they want a letter of guarantee for payment from our headquarters. No problem, I'm told, but there was one, or a couple. First, the appropriate hands from which a signature was required on a document were occupied in a meeting. Second, after receiving said signatures, we discovered our name had been misspelled on the letter, which the hospital would not accept. AGAIN the meeting was interrupted to acquire the John Hancock of a few VIP's in order for us to leave and see our child. Then, the letter had to be sent over to the board of directors at the hospital for authorization so we could leave. They as well were in a meeting. We started this whole marathon process at 7 am and now it is 11:15 am. Keep in mind that visiting hours at the other hospital are from 10-12 only!
So, after finally getting the discharge and the ok to leave, I gingerly speed over the notoriously horrible roads of San Salvador, careening past pot holes and speed bumps with the greatest of ease, heading to the house to drop off our stuff from the hospital because the children's hospital is in a bad part of town. Then we make our way across town, through lunch traffic, swerving past buses and taxis, arriving at Hospital Nacional de Niños Benjamin Bloom, the new home for Kai, and Lisa's first sight of the facility. Now, being a government-funded hospital it has the best staff and the best machines; however, apparently the funded part of the hospital only goes that far because aesthetically it looks like a nightmare: peeling paint, graffiti, stained walls, missing/stained ceiling tiles, broken sheetrock, etc. Yeah, this place needs Extreme Makeover Hospital Edition!
So, Lisa and I make our way through the maze of people in order to get upstairs so she can see Kai for the first time in 60 hours. Another hurdle we have to go over, which isn't really that big of a deal, is that we have to go through a social worker to get our permission card to enter the hospital. In order to obtain said card, we have to have that foot print document (which we don't have yet), but they had talked with the other hospital and were making an exception for us. One small problem: when I admitted Kai on the previous Friday night, they only took my information and not Lisa's. The social worker explains to us the odd curiosity of having a father's name on file but no mother's name, something unheard of and impossible for a newborn. Typically, she says, we have the mother's name and have to figure out the father (possibly a comment on the social situation in El Salvador?), but here we have the father's name and no mother. Obviously we are the parents of the only WHITE child in the hospital, but officially we don't have Lisa on record as a parent. At this point we're both thinking the unthinkable: they aren't going to let her in because she isn't listed as a parent. Thank God that didn't happen. I just have to bring that paperwork back over first thing in the morning to make the name changes.
So, we finally get in to see Kai and Lisa is ecstatic. After spending quite a bit of time there with Kai, we reluctantly pull ourselves away to go home, to our empty house. That is quite possibly the hardest thing to do. After being in the hospital and having visitors, going home without a child to an empty house is rather difficult.
Well, we arrive home and I had called to some friends in order to borrow a couple twin beds. You see our house is 2 stories, with all the bedrooms upstairs, and Lisa can't climb stairs for a while. Solution? Put twin beds in the living room and have a husband/wife camp out downstairs for a couple weeks. Perfect! So, we settle down into our beds and finally find some sleep after a VERY long day of pure craziness. What in the world can the next day hold?
Day 5 - Monday Oct 3. Time to go home, to an empty house... My wife leaves the hospital with an empty womb, the car with an empty car seat, and us both with a vacancy sign blinking in the window of our hearts. How is that we have passed through the past 5 days with all the excitement and emotion of having a child only to go home without the bundle of joy for which we waited almost 9 months in utero and almost 1 1/2 years of attempting to conceive? No words can truly express the feeling of leaving your child behind, in an unfamiliar location, with unfamiliar people, trusting only in God to take care of him. I realize now what it is that many parents go through each year with preemies, birth complications, etc. We are not alone in this venture, but it sure feels like. Not everyone understand what goes on in your mind and heart, especially in those lonely moment at home, when you think about the joy of birth yet don't have the physical presence of what causes that joy.
After 4 very difficult days, Lisa finally got to leave the hospital, ready or not. With Kai at the other hospital across town, there was no reason to stay admitted, racking up an even larger bill. We both got up early in order to start the process, get out, go home to drop off stuff, and take mama over to see the baby for the first time in more than 48 hours. What should have been a rather simple process turned into a nightmare.
Living overseas has certain benefits and difficulties. Insurance and health care fall under both categories. Health care is very cheap and therefore that makes it easier for taking care of things, but when it comes to working with insurance from overseas and payment, that equals big ole fat headache. But the payment process wasn't the only headache we experienced this wonderful Monday.
I went to the nursery early because here in El Salvador we have to have a document from the hospital with the footprints of the child, signed by the attending physician and nurse, in order to register the child and obtain the birth certificate. They also needed this paperwork at the other hospital to prove identification of parents and child and officially, legally register him as a patient. Well, in all the excitement of the first few days, the prints never got taken and he was transferred without it. The head nurse called over there and they gave her a long list of protocol to follow. Instead of simply allowing her to send over the signed paperwork and let THEM take the prints, they told her SHE had to come over, prove her identity, show hospital credentials, and take the prints there. EESSSSH!!! So, I would have to give her a ride over to the hospital that afternoon to take care of this. Ok, whatever. Enter headache number 2....
After this fiasco in the nursery, I went to talk with payment about releasing my wife. We had (supposedly) worked out with the insurance company to pay the bill directly with the hospital without us paying it and getting reimbursed. They typically don't do this, but with the situation they were going to directly bill and pay without us getting involved. Supposedly! The billing department told me that they were not in fact going to do this, that nothing had been arranged, and that the way it worked with our companies clients was we paid the bill and got reimbursed. After 2 hours or so on the phone, we figured out that I would have to pay because there were complications. Running low on minutes on my pre-paid phone, I sat on hold with the credit card company, seeking to get them to wave the foreign transaction fee of 5% because I was getting ready to max my card with a payment from the hospital. Finally, after passing through I don't remember how many people, they agreed. Now, the bill was $12,000 and I did NOT have that kind of limit on my card. How would I pay the rest? I called our headquarters to see what we could do.
My next 2 options presented themselves: they would advance me the money (overdrafting a health account against my name and wait for the reimbursement to pay it back) or they could wire the money directly to the hospital account. I chose door #2. So, we had to work that out with client services. Meanwhile, as I sit in the office hashing through all the details, Lisa, having already checked out of the room, is sitting downstairs, alone, in a wheelchair, waiting for me in pain. It takes over an HOUR to get this part done. The hospital agrees to the arrangement, but they want a letter of guarantee for payment from our headquarters. No problem, I'm told, but there was one, or a couple. First, the appropriate hands from which a signature was required on a document were occupied in a meeting. Second, after receiving said signatures, we discovered our name had been misspelled on the letter, which the hospital would not accept. AGAIN the meeting was interrupted to acquire the John Hancock of a few VIP's in order for us to leave and see our child. Then, the letter had to be sent over to the board of directors at the hospital for authorization so we could leave. They as well were in a meeting. We started this whole marathon process at 7 am and now it is 11:15 am. Keep in mind that visiting hours at the other hospital are from 10-12 only!
So, after finally getting the discharge and the ok to leave, I gingerly speed over the notoriously horrible roads of San Salvador, careening past pot holes and speed bumps with the greatest of ease, heading to the house to drop off our stuff from the hospital because the children's hospital is in a bad part of town. Then we make our way across town, through lunch traffic, swerving past buses and taxis, arriving at Hospital Nacional de Niños Benjamin Bloom, the new home for Kai, and Lisa's first sight of the facility. Now, being a government-funded hospital it has the best staff and the best machines; however, apparently the funded part of the hospital only goes that far because aesthetically it looks like a nightmare: peeling paint, graffiti, stained walls, missing/stained ceiling tiles, broken sheetrock, etc. Yeah, this place needs Extreme Makeover Hospital Edition!
So, Lisa and I make our way through the maze of people in order to get upstairs so she can see Kai for the first time in 60 hours. Another hurdle we have to go over, which isn't really that big of a deal, is that we have to go through a social worker to get our permission card to enter the hospital. In order to obtain said card, we have to have that foot print document (which we don't have yet), but they had talked with the other hospital and were making an exception for us. One small problem: when I admitted Kai on the previous Friday night, they only took my information and not Lisa's. The social worker explains to us the odd curiosity of having a father's name on file but no mother's name, something unheard of and impossible for a newborn. Typically, she says, we have the mother's name and have to figure out the father (possibly a comment on the social situation in El Salvador?), but here we have the father's name and no mother. Obviously we are the parents of the only WHITE child in the hospital, but officially we don't have Lisa on record as a parent. At this point we're both thinking the unthinkable: they aren't going to let her in because she isn't listed as a parent. Thank God that didn't happen. I just have to bring that paperwork back over first thing in the morning to make the name changes.
So, we finally get in to see Kai and Lisa is ecstatic. After spending quite a bit of time there with Kai, we reluctantly pull ourselves away to go home, to our empty house. That is quite possibly the hardest thing to do. After being in the hospital and having visitors, going home without a child to an empty house is rather difficult.
Well, we arrive home and I had called to some friends in order to borrow a couple twin beds. You see our house is 2 stories, with all the bedrooms upstairs, and Lisa can't climb stairs for a while. Solution? Put twin beds in the living room and have a husband/wife camp out downstairs for a couple weeks. Perfect! So, we settle down into our beds and finally find some sleep after a VERY long day of pure craziness. What in the world can the next day hold?
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Day 3 - The eye of the storm or the calm after it?
Mommy and daddy awoke this morning to the sound of absolute silence. Six hours of uninterrupted sleep (at least for dad) and not a single emergency. After 48 of the most horrific, stressful, trying hours of our lives, we rejoiced in the ability to just be for a whole day. Kai is stable and doing well on the high-frequency ventilator. He remained stable for a solid 24 hours and that is a victory in and of itself.
This test of parenthood, this dark night of the soul as I watched our precious creation struggle for life, revealed to me just how far I can be stretched and whipped without breaking. Imagine the palm trees whipping and thrashing in the 90 mph gusts of a deadly hurricane, snapping back and forth, leaves slapping the pavement with each new rush of angry wind, as the childish storm vehemently berates mother earth. No matter how fierce the wind, how torrential the downpour, the palm tree, as if formed of rubber, bravely endures each new blow without breaking under the pressure. Beaten, bruised, and possibly clinging to life, the palm tree refuses to crack under the weight of torture, proving itself stronger than the cement houses, asphalt roads, and brick buildings that surround it.
With that image in mind, you now understand my heart. The past 48 hours have pushed, prodded, blown, beaten, bruised, whipped, snapped, and violated our hearts and minds, trying to break us, invading the most intimate parts of our being. The torrential downpour of bad news and gloomy diagnosis has beaten against us, throwing us to our knees time and time again; however, like the palm tree, we will not be broken.
2000 years ago Paul wrote in his letter to the Corinthians:
"Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us. We are pressed in every way but not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair; we are persecuted but not abandoned; we are struck down but not destroyed. We always carry the death of Jesus in our body, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who live are always given over to death because of Jesus, so that Jesus' life may also be revealed in our mortal flesh. So death works in us, but life in you. And since we have the same spirit of faith in accordance with what is written, I believed, therefore I spoke, we also believe, and therefore speak, knowing that the One who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus, and present us with you. For all this is because of you, so that grace, extended through more and more people, may cause thanksgiving to overflow to God's glory. Therefore we do not give up; even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen; for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
This horrific process to which we have been exposed has only served to test the nature of our faith. What was intended to destroy us, shattering the dreams of our future, God used to strengthen us. The strength of the tree is not in its ability to bend and move, but in the depth of its roots. The deeper it goes the more it can withstand. Tests and trials in our lives serve one of two purposes: breaking our will as we are dashed upon the rocks or forcing us to drive deeper into our foundation. The past 3 days have taught me that I am stronger than I appear, because of the divine power of God coursing through my veins. "The same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead now lives in you," is what the New Testament says. "My grace is sufficient for you because MY power is perfected in weakness," is what God said to Paul in the midst of suffering. I've learned the heart of a father, one of a protector, encourager, fighter, intercessor, provider.
I've discovered that I can be stretched farther, pushed harder, beaten more fiercely, and thrown more violently, yet my roots are stronger and my foundation more solid than the most vicious, violent torment that life can throw my way. I reiterate what Paul said, "therefore we do not give up; though outwardly we are being destroyed, inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary afflictions are producing in us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen; for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
What lessons my child is already teaching me. No matter how bad the circumstance, how violent the storm, my ability to endure is measured by how hard I cling to my Daddy's hand. In my visit with Kai, I placed my finger in his palm and he gripped it tightly. Struggling to survive, tubes entering and exiting all over his body, in the midst of sedation, Kai gripped the hand of his father. Tenaciously he clung to my finger, even when it was time to go. What power! What assurance! We can face whatever life throws our way, if we will but cling to the finger of the One who made us, the One who protects us, the One who loves us unconditionally. For Kai, we are his foundation, his strength, the support he needs to make it through, or more likely, it is Christ in us that provides this for him. For us, Christ is our foundation.
Thank you God for teaching me the importance of tenacity and perseverance, steadfastly clinging to you, in the darkest of nights. You alone are our source, foundation, strength, peace, power, and protection. Thank you for making my child a warrior, born with a never-give-up attitude. We rejoice in the completion of your promise and the beauty of your rest.
We have seen this one life touch more people than we possibly ever could. Through Facebook, email, phone calls, etc., Kai's story has reached literally thousands around the world. We know where our hope lies and the source of our strength. Kai's story is an echo of Paul's words, "all this is because of you, so that grace, extended through more and more people, may cause thanksgiving to overflow to God's glory." We have no doubt that his life and the testimony of God's power and faithfulness is touching the hearts of thousands. Gladly would I face this storm time and again if it would continue to bring honor, glory, and thanksgiving to my God. If our suffering increases His glory and brings souls to Him, so be it. We will stand, we will survive, we will be victorious!
This test of parenthood, this dark night of the soul as I watched our precious creation struggle for life, revealed to me just how far I can be stretched and whipped without breaking. Imagine the palm trees whipping and thrashing in the 90 mph gusts of a deadly hurricane, snapping back and forth, leaves slapping the pavement with each new rush of angry wind, as the childish storm vehemently berates mother earth. No matter how fierce the wind, how torrential the downpour, the palm tree, as if formed of rubber, bravely endures each new blow without breaking under the pressure. Beaten, bruised, and possibly clinging to life, the palm tree refuses to crack under the weight of torture, proving itself stronger than the cement houses, asphalt roads, and brick buildings that surround it.
With that image in mind, you now understand my heart. The past 48 hours have pushed, prodded, blown, beaten, bruised, whipped, snapped, and violated our hearts and minds, trying to break us, invading the most intimate parts of our being. The torrential downpour of bad news and gloomy diagnosis has beaten against us, throwing us to our knees time and time again; however, like the palm tree, we will not be broken.
2000 years ago Paul wrote in his letter to the Corinthians:
"Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us. We are pressed in every way but not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair; we are persecuted but not abandoned; we are struck down but not destroyed. We always carry the death of Jesus in our body, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who live are always given over to death because of Jesus, so that Jesus' life may also be revealed in our mortal flesh. So death works in us, but life in you. And since we have the same spirit of faith in accordance with what is written, I believed, therefore I spoke, we also believe, and therefore speak, knowing that the One who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus, and present us with you. For all this is because of you, so that grace, extended through more and more people, may cause thanksgiving to overflow to God's glory. Therefore we do not give up; even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen; for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
This horrific process to which we have been exposed has only served to test the nature of our faith. What was intended to destroy us, shattering the dreams of our future, God used to strengthen us. The strength of the tree is not in its ability to bend and move, but in the depth of its roots. The deeper it goes the more it can withstand. Tests and trials in our lives serve one of two purposes: breaking our will as we are dashed upon the rocks or forcing us to drive deeper into our foundation. The past 3 days have taught me that I am stronger than I appear, because of the divine power of God coursing through my veins. "The same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead now lives in you," is what the New Testament says. "My grace is sufficient for you because MY power is perfected in weakness," is what God said to Paul in the midst of suffering. I've learned the heart of a father, one of a protector, encourager, fighter, intercessor, provider.
I've discovered that I can be stretched farther, pushed harder, beaten more fiercely, and thrown more violently, yet my roots are stronger and my foundation more solid than the most vicious, violent torment that life can throw my way. I reiterate what Paul said, "therefore we do not give up; though outwardly we are being destroyed, inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary afflictions are producing in us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen; for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
What lessons my child is already teaching me. No matter how bad the circumstance, how violent the storm, my ability to endure is measured by how hard I cling to my Daddy's hand. In my visit with Kai, I placed my finger in his palm and he gripped it tightly. Struggling to survive, tubes entering and exiting all over his body, in the midst of sedation, Kai gripped the hand of his father. Tenaciously he clung to my finger, even when it was time to go. What power! What assurance! We can face whatever life throws our way, if we will but cling to the finger of the One who made us, the One who protects us, the One who loves us unconditionally. For Kai, we are his foundation, his strength, the support he needs to make it through, or more likely, it is Christ in us that provides this for him. For us, Christ is our foundation.
Thank you God for teaching me the importance of tenacity and perseverance, steadfastly clinging to you, in the darkest of nights. You alone are our source, foundation, strength, peace, power, and protection. Thank you for making my child a warrior, born with a never-give-up attitude. We rejoice in the completion of your promise and the beauty of your rest.
We have seen this one life touch more people than we possibly ever could. Through Facebook, email, phone calls, etc., Kai's story has reached literally thousands around the world. We know where our hope lies and the source of our strength. Kai's story is an echo of Paul's words, "all this is because of you, so that grace, extended through more and more people, may cause thanksgiving to overflow to God's glory." We have no doubt that his life and the testimony of God's power and faithfulness is touching the hearts of thousands. Gladly would I face this storm time and again if it would continue to bring honor, glory, and thanksgiving to my God. If our suffering increases His glory and brings souls to Him, so be it. We will stand, we will survive, we will be victorious!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Kai
My mom actually looked this up and I wanted to post it hear so I don't forget it. It means a lot to me to have a name that has significance and meaning, so here it is for Kai.
In Hawaiian, Kai means "ocean" or "ocean water"
In Japanese, Kai may mean "big water", "ocean", "the sea", "paddle", "change", "receiver", "taker", "meditation", "forgiveness"
In Latin, Kai means "rejoice"
Noé is Spanish for Noah and means "peace, comfort, rest." We chose Kai Noé for it's meanings, because he is miracle and we rejoice in his birth. We find our peace, comfort, and rest in the God who made him and created him especially for us. Coincidentally, Noah sailed on the "ocean water" or Kai. =)
Here are the meanings that my mom discovered.
In Yoruba, a Nigerian language, Kai means "love"
In North Germanic languages, Kai means "keeper of the keys."
In Scandinavian languages, Kai means "rejoice"
In Finnish, Kai is a common male name meaning "probably"
In Chinese, Kai is a given name which can be one of several characters, meaning "victory" or "triumphant"
In Burmese, Kai means "strong" or "unbreakable"
All of these hold great meaning for us. He is our victorious, triumphant warrior, strong and unbreakable. He is our love, we rejoice in his birth, celebrate it, and give glory to our God and Father for his precious life. I hope you enjoy this little post.
His name is just a reminder to me that words have power, our words carry life and death, blessing and cursing. Names are important and I believe affect the life of a child, because each time we say their name we reaffirm it's meaning. Joshua is Yeshua in Hebrew, the same name of Jesus, and means "The Lord is my salvation". Eric means "boldness". I am bold the Lord my salvation. Names are important, not just for how they sound, but for what they mean.
Lisa means "oath of God."
We rejoice today, Father, in Kai, our victorious warrior. Watch over him, keep him, heal him, and get him home to us!
In Hawaiian, Kai means "ocean" or "ocean water"
In Japanese, Kai may mean "big water", "ocean", "the sea", "paddle", "change", "receiver", "taker", "meditation", "forgiveness"
In Latin, Kai means "rejoice"
Noé is Spanish for Noah and means "peace, comfort, rest." We chose Kai Noé for it's meanings, because he is miracle and we rejoice in his birth. We find our peace, comfort, and rest in the God who made him and created him especially for us. Coincidentally, Noah sailed on the "ocean water" or Kai. =)
Here are the meanings that my mom discovered.
In Yoruba, a Nigerian language, Kai means "love"
In North Germanic languages, Kai means "keeper of the keys."
In Scandinavian languages, Kai means "rejoice"
In Finnish, Kai is a common male name meaning "probably"
In Chinese, Kai is a given name which can be one of several characters, meaning "victory" or "triumphant"
In Burmese, Kai means "strong" or "unbreakable"
All of these hold great meaning for us. He is our victorious, triumphant warrior, strong and unbreakable. He is our love, we rejoice in his birth, celebrate it, and give glory to our God and Father for his precious life. I hope you enjoy this little post.
His name is just a reminder to me that words have power, our words carry life and death, blessing and cursing. Names are important and I believe affect the life of a child, because each time we say their name we reaffirm it's meaning. Joshua is Yeshua in Hebrew, the same name of Jesus, and means "The Lord is my salvation". Eric means "boldness". I am bold the Lord my salvation. Names are important, not just for how they sound, but for what they mean.
Lisa means "oath of God."
We rejoice today, Father, in Kai, our victorious warrior. Watch over him, keep him, heal him, and get him home to us!
Friday, September 30, 2011
Day 2
Man, this kid is going to run me ragged. This has been quite honestly the toughest, hardest day of my entire life and I've only been a dad for 48 hours. At this rate I'll be bald by one week! Here's the low down....
So this morning at about 7 am, after getting my first real sleep in 2 days, I woke up and went in to check on my little warrior. They said that during the night he took some steps back, suffering some cardiac problems and congestion. They changed his medication and put him on a stronger antibiotic to combat the infection. They said that he hemorrhaging had completely stopped and he was doing better, but that he wasn't progressing. His oxygen saturation was at 80-86%, when it should be up to 90-95%. His blood pressure was faltering some and so they put him on dopamine to help his heart. They said that his heart was fatigued due to the load it was bearing and that it needed to have some help. Apparently during infections like this, the heart overcompensates to help out, and his got tired and wasn't providing good oxygen.
Later in the morning Lisa and I both went and Kai didn't look so hot. His color had deteriorated because of the lowered oxygen levels and they mentioned the need to put him on a high frequency ventilator. They were trying to get one relocated to the hospital to help him out, just in case it was needed. We left the NICU a little broken seeing Kai struggling and praying for improvement.
At this point in the day, I needed a break. There is only so much stress and complication that one brain can handle, and mine had reached it's saturation point. At the urging approval of my wife, I escaped for some much needed "me" time (which sounds incredibly selfish considering the situation). I went and changed clothes, got some food, and went to run an errand at the Post Office before heading back. In the process of licking stamps for some envelopes I get a frantic call from my wife telling me to rush back because they needed to transfer Kai.
I flew from the Post Office lickity split (no pun intended) and made it to the hospital in no time. I rushed to the Nursery to speak with the pediatrician. The situation was that Kai was not improving and they were at their limit with the equipment available in this hospital. He needed the high frequency machine and needed it now. Cultural Clarification Moment: our hospital is a private hospital and one of the nicest facilities in El Salvador, however it is not government run. Government funds go to State hospitals and therefore they have the best equipment.
Back to the story now. His oxygen levels weren't great, his blood pressure was ok, but his chances were not good on a regular machine alone. Plus, since the ventilator was running at high capacity it was putting a lot of pressure on his lungs, which could cause a rupture in his lungs. He needed the high frequency machine, which keep all his passageways and air sac completely open, providing maximum oxygen flow without all the pressure on his little lungs. If he stayed in our hospital, his chances of survival were very low. He would deteriorate and possibly die. The option was to transport him across town to a children's hospital (government run) where they had this machine waiting. As it is, there was only 1 machine of this caliber in the country for rent and it was being used elsewhere. So, the only option was to go to the state hospital and use theirs. The risk was this: to move him they had to remove him from the ventilator and run a hand pump until we arrived. He could deteriorate and possibly die in transit because he was very delicate and critical. Cultural Clarification Moment: El Salvador is not known for giving right of way to emergency vehicles and it was rush hour.
I broke down. No ifs, ands, or buts about it, I simply lost control. What parent of less than 48 hours should ever have to make such a difficult decision? Life and death literally in the balance, teetering on my decision. After composing myself, I went back to Lisa to explain and she lost it. Was this some sort of bad joke? As if Day 1 wasn't hard enough, now our very decision could cost the life of our child!
There really was no choice in the matter. Stay here and die. Move him and live, with the great risk of death in transit. With the scales of life teetering precariously, Kai was prepped, the ambulance readied, phone calls made, and poor mama left with friends to console her. I jumped into the back of the ambulance with the pediatrician, neonatologist, 2 nurses, the ambulance staff, and the all the equipment, and headed out on our adventure across town through the worst possibly traffic (Friday night mind you!). Just as we leave the hospital, we come to a halt in the middle of the road and just sit there. We asked the driver the situation and he said we had broken down. They had to call another ambulance to come and take us. WHAT!!! Are you kidding me? What kind of Archie Bunker operation are we running?
A few minutes later, as I sit there on the verge of cussing (I'm a Christian and missionary, but at this moment I almost lost it all!), I hear the wail of sirens as our new chariot approached. We quickly unload and reload Kai, neonatologist pumping his little lungs without fail. Off we go, in our brand new, dented up little ambulance, weaving in and out of traffic, lights flashing, sirens and horn blaring. In what should have taken over an hour to accomplish due to conditions, we miraculously arrived at the children's hospital in about 20 minutes. Kai stayed completely stable the entire ride and his oxygen levels actually increased in transit. I think possibly he just got cabin fever and wanted some fresh air!
We rush him inside the hospital, me holding the heart rate monitor on top of the incubator as we all maneuver through the corridors. Upon arrival in the NICU ward, Kai is rushed to the Promised Land where our wonderful machine awaited him. As I took care of the admission papers, the medical staff worked to remove him from his current incubator and transport him to the new one, attaching all the appropriate hoses and such to the new machine.
Literally within minutes of arriving, Kai was hooked up, the machine firing on all cylinders, and already improving. The neonatologist came out and was more optimistic than she has been in the the last 48 hours. She would have done cartwheels if we weren't in an emergency ward. He was stable and doing much better on the new machine.
I was allowed to see him after washing what seemed like every square inch of exposed flesh and putting on a "long sleeve" smock, which for me was more like a three quarter sleeve baseball shirt. Cautiously and anxiously I moved into his room. Kai looked a hundred times better. It was a completely different kid from just minute earlier. His color was restored, his oxygen levels were 92-95%, blood pressure stable, heart rate perfect, and daddy sighed the greatest sigh of relief ever since the creation of the world. I sheepishly asked the doctor, "This may sound stupid, but can I kiss him?" "You can kiss him all you want," was his confident reply. And kiss I did!
I returned home after our little adventure to be with Lisa. Kai is doing much better and happier on his new machine. Lisa is jealous, but she will get her chance soon. He is my little warrior and is fighting like crazy. We love him so much and would do anything for him. But I'm praying this is the last of our adventures with him until later. I'm ready for some boring, nothing exciting happens but us holding him, kissing him, and changing diapers. Looking forward to good things tomorrow morning!
So this morning at about 7 am, after getting my first real sleep in 2 days, I woke up and went in to check on my little warrior. They said that during the night he took some steps back, suffering some cardiac problems and congestion. They changed his medication and put him on a stronger antibiotic to combat the infection. They said that he hemorrhaging had completely stopped and he was doing better, but that he wasn't progressing. His oxygen saturation was at 80-86%, when it should be up to 90-95%. His blood pressure was faltering some and so they put him on dopamine to help his heart. They said that his heart was fatigued due to the load it was bearing and that it needed to have some help. Apparently during infections like this, the heart overcompensates to help out, and his got tired and wasn't providing good oxygen.
Later in the morning Lisa and I both went and Kai didn't look so hot. His color had deteriorated because of the lowered oxygen levels and they mentioned the need to put him on a high frequency ventilator. They were trying to get one relocated to the hospital to help him out, just in case it was needed. We left the NICU a little broken seeing Kai struggling and praying for improvement.
At this point in the day, I needed a break. There is only so much stress and complication that one brain can handle, and mine had reached it's saturation point. At the urging approval of my wife, I escaped for some much needed "me" time (which sounds incredibly selfish considering the situation). I went and changed clothes, got some food, and went to run an errand at the Post Office before heading back. In the process of licking stamps for some envelopes I get a frantic call from my wife telling me to rush back because they needed to transfer Kai.
I flew from the Post Office lickity split (no pun intended) and made it to the hospital in no time. I rushed to the Nursery to speak with the pediatrician. The situation was that Kai was not improving and they were at their limit with the equipment available in this hospital. He needed the high frequency machine and needed it now. Cultural Clarification Moment: our hospital is a private hospital and one of the nicest facilities in El Salvador, however it is not government run. Government funds go to State hospitals and therefore they have the best equipment.
Back to the story now. His oxygen levels weren't great, his blood pressure was ok, but his chances were not good on a regular machine alone. Plus, since the ventilator was running at high capacity it was putting a lot of pressure on his lungs, which could cause a rupture in his lungs. He needed the high frequency machine, which keep all his passageways and air sac completely open, providing maximum oxygen flow without all the pressure on his little lungs. If he stayed in our hospital, his chances of survival were very low. He would deteriorate and possibly die. The option was to transport him across town to a children's hospital (government run) where they had this machine waiting. As it is, there was only 1 machine of this caliber in the country for rent and it was being used elsewhere. So, the only option was to go to the state hospital and use theirs. The risk was this: to move him they had to remove him from the ventilator and run a hand pump until we arrived. He could deteriorate and possibly die in transit because he was very delicate and critical. Cultural Clarification Moment: El Salvador is not known for giving right of way to emergency vehicles and it was rush hour.
I broke down. No ifs, ands, or buts about it, I simply lost control. What parent of less than 48 hours should ever have to make such a difficult decision? Life and death literally in the balance, teetering on my decision. After composing myself, I went back to Lisa to explain and she lost it. Was this some sort of bad joke? As if Day 1 wasn't hard enough, now our very decision could cost the life of our child!
There really was no choice in the matter. Stay here and die. Move him and live, with the great risk of death in transit. With the scales of life teetering precariously, Kai was prepped, the ambulance readied, phone calls made, and poor mama left with friends to console her. I jumped into the back of the ambulance with the pediatrician, neonatologist, 2 nurses, the ambulance staff, and the all the equipment, and headed out on our adventure across town through the worst possibly traffic (Friday night mind you!). Just as we leave the hospital, we come to a halt in the middle of the road and just sit there. We asked the driver the situation and he said we had broken down. They had to call another ambulance to come and take us. WHAT!!! Are you kidding me? What kind of Archie Bunker operation are we running?
A few minutes later, as I sit there on the verge of cussing (I'm a Christian and missionary, but at this moment I almost lost it all!), I hear the wail of sirens as our new chariot approached. We quickly unload and reload Kai, neonatologist pumping his little lungs without fail. Off we go, in our brand new, dented up little ambulance, weaving in and out of traffic, lights flashing, sirens and horn blaring. In what should have taken over an hour to accomplish due to conditions, we miraculously arrived at the children's hospital in about 20 minutes. Kai stayed completely stable the entire ride and his oxygen levels actually increased in transit. I think possibly he just got cabin fever and wanted some fresh air!
We rush him inside the hospital, me holding the heart rate monitor on top of the incubator as we all maneuver through the corridors. Upon arrival in the NICU ward, Kai is rushed to the Promised Land where our wonderful machine awaited him. As I took care of the admission papers, the medical staff worked to remove him from his current incubator and transport him to the new one, attaching all the appropriate hoses and such to the new machine.
Literally within minutes of arriving, Kai was hooked up, the machine firing on all cylinders, and already improving. The neonatologist came out and was more optimistic than she has been in the the last 48 hours. She would have done cartwheels if we weren't in an emergency ward. He was stable and doing much better on the new machine.
I was allowed to see him after washing what seemed like every square inch of exposed flesh and putting on a "long sleeve" smock, which for me was more like a three quarter sleeve baseball shirt. Cautiously and anxiously I moved into his room. Kai looked a hundred times better. It was a completely different kid from just minute earlier. His color was restored, his oxygen levels were 92-95%, blood pressure stable, heart rate perfect, and daddy sighed the greatest sigh of relief ever since the creation of the world. I sheepishly asked the doctor, "This may sound stupid, but can I kiss him?" "You can kiss him all you want," was his confident reply. And kiss I did!
I returned home after our little adventure to be with Lisa. Kai is doing much better and happier on his new machine. Lisa is jealous, but she will get her chance soon. He is my little warrior and is fighting like crazy. We love him so much and would do anything for him. But I'm praying this is the last of our adventures with him until later. I'm ready for some boring, nothing exciting happens but us holding him, kissing him, and changing diapers. Looking forward to good things tomorrow morning!
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Day 1 - continued
Time for another lengthy report of what is going on in the world of the Sears'. Here goes....
Not too long ago the OBGYN, Pediatrician and Neonatologist came in to talk to us about Lisa and Kai. First, Lisa is doing good. They changed her bandage and cleaned her up and it all looks good. No major bleeding such and they are going to get her up tonight and give the opportunity to go see Kai for the first time.
With regards to Kai there is quite a bit to say. First, they got back another x-ray and the lungs look even better. They said that he has progressed better than they expected and looks good, although there is still a ways to go. Second, he urinated a good amount, an adequate amount according to his age, so his kidneys are working great. Third, a cardiologist came in and checked out his heart to make sure there was nothing wrong. The heart checked out perfect and so they are one by one checking off the various symptoms. They put a catheter in so as to more easily take blood samples and administer medication. Fourth, they did a transfusion of plasma and platelets and both went well. They are going to check later to see if they need to transfer red cells as well. They hadn't stopped the hemorrhaging in the lungs, but after administering the platelets they have controlled it. The amount of blood that was coming back through the respiratory tube has diminished by 60% and so they have the hemorrhage controlled and that means the platelets are doing their job perfectly. Tomorrow morning they will check his levels to make sure he is reproducing his own and the levels are good. Fifth, they are doing an ultrasound of the brain to make sure that the cerebral function is good and there aren't any lesions or hemorrhaging in the brain. They said that clinically speaking he looks great and doesn't show any signs of brain damage or bleeding, but they want to be 100% certain. He is active and fidgety, they called him a fighter. They said he is fighting and working at recovery, so much so that they had to give him a mild sedative to settle him down so he doesn't mess the tubes up. That's my boy, a little wiggle wart!
All said and done they told us he is completely stable, although still in the critical stage. He looks good, moves good, responds good, and is starting to get better with the lungs. Tomorrow they are going to take blood to test the levels and we are expecting the blood to have stopped completely. Once that happens the ventilator will help him remove or absorb the blood that is currently in his lungs.
That's where we stand right now. God is so amazingly faithful and we are excited to see what tomorrow brings. This has been one roller coaster 24 hour period and we are hopefully expectant for the coming hours and days. Thank you for your continued prayers, I'll be in touch later.
The toughest 24 hours....Jack Bauer has nothing on me!
Day 1 - The countdown suddenly turns the page and becomes real time. I guess it never really goes as you think it will, no matter how much you dream, plan, and think about it, you honestly have no idea what life will throw your way. Somehow I imagined that since this child was an absolute miracle, when it came time for his birth, no matter the circumstance, it would be a piece of cake and without any complications. But here I sit, in bewilderment, clinging to faith and a promise, kinda like Abraham and Sarah when Isaac was to be sacrificed, knowing that my God is faithful to complete His promises. Let me back up...
So, we came into the OB yesterday morning (yesterday being 9/28) for our appointment and Lisa hadn't been feeling super good. In fact, she lost 4 pounds since the last exam (not a good sign). The doc was worried for that and because the baby was out of room, but everything appeared fine. She said if he didn't come naturally by Friday that she would induce and get the process started. I think Kai heard our conversation and decided to show us all what for.
Lisa and I went to lunch and after lunch she started having really frequent Braxton-Hicks, strong and tight, but no pain. We saw a movie and afterwards they got more frequent and pain started to appear. Unsure if this was real or false labor, we loaded up the car at home and headed to the hospital to see what awaited us. They admitted her and put her on a fetal monitor to check the baby and the contractions. The baby's heart rate faltered during/after contractions, dropping to 90 or so bpm, when it should be 130-160. They said that they needed to do an emergency C-section to get him out and that we could wait, but the result would be the same since she was only 1 cm dilated. So, off they took Lisa into the OR to prep her and I got ready.
C-section, contrary to vaginal birth, is really a quick, fascinating process. It didn't gross me out and made life really easier on my end (no hours of standing, holding a hand like a vice grip saying, "Breath, Breath, BRea....DON'T BREAK ME!). I know that Lisa didn't want a C-section and I didn't want one either, but nature does what nature does and Kai needed out NOW!
So, out he comes in a gush of fluid and blood, crying for all the world to hear. Healthy and long, 6 lbs 3 oz, 19 inches. Well, we thought he was healthy. The pediatrician and I flew to the nursery to begin doing tests and checking the baby, all the normal newborn stuff. Kai seemed ok, but started having some respiration problems, which the doc attributed most likely to immature lungs (common for early children).
He put him in an incubator with oxygen to get him warmed up and going. The oxygen didn't do the job, so they added it in a hood (see above picture), and then decided to put the little nose thingy on him to get positive pressure in his lungs to keep them expanded, basically a baby CPAP.
After some time they noticed he was still struggling and getting tired when he breathed, so they did an x-ray and saw fluid in his lungs, common symptom of immature lung tissue. They said that the next step was to put a tracheal tube into his lungs to apply steroids of sorts to his lungs to enhance the growth and help him mature some. Here's where it got interesting. Upon getting the tubes ready to insert, they discovered hemorrhaging in his lungs (thus the fluid) and were able to get the tracheal tube in to provide airflow via respirator. In hindsight, they said that it is impossible to distinguish immature tissue and infection in the lungs like this, even to the most trained professional eye. Nurse friends of our confirmed this with us, so it wasn't smoke being blown you know where.
All of this happened in about 4-5 hours after being born, which put us in a state of shocked panic (at least for me). Note: if you haven't experienced something like this, seeing your little baby hooked up to tubes, monitors, machines, etc. is the most terrifying and humbling experience ever. Talk about helpless!
At 3 am they brought a respiratory therapist or specialist in to help with treatment. They told us that he essentially had 50% chance of living, that he had lost blood due to hemorrhaging, the the blood test showed extremely low levels of plasma, platelets, and white cells, and he was 100% dependent on the ventilator for breathing. ::::Sound of wind leaving out sails:::::
What do you do at that point? How do you respond in a situation like that? The only way we know how as Christians, we started bombarding Heaven with prayer. Within minutes, literally, prayer chains started around the world, through friends, family, contacts, missionaries, pastors, etc. This kid had thousands of people lifting him up to God for another miracle. Another side note: in my professional opinion, this is a direct spiritual attack. I don't see demons around every corner, but I recognize the work of that toothless lion when I see it. If he so desired to attack this baby, sending an aggressive infection to attack him, time to call out the big guns. I serve an Aggressive Healer who crushed that serpents head!
With prayers flying regularly toward Heaven, we waited. The x-rays at 3 am showed lungs covered in white, when they should show black on an x-ray. So we tried to rest and see what happened. NO news came for 4 hours. No news is good news, right? I'm never quite sure if it is No news? That's good news or Absolute no news is good news. Either way, the docs were silent.
At 7 am, with only about an hour or so of sleep in me, I rose to go to the nursery and check on my little angel. Lisa had not (and still hasn't) seen him because she is bed-ridden in recovery. Upon arrival in that room of perpetual infancy, the pediatrician greeted me with a better prognosis: Kai was stable, although critical, and the transfusion of platelets and plasma was on the way. He had more x-rays to show me, showing improvement, which he called "discreet improvement" so as not to sound too optimistic (I'm not sure why they do that). But even with my untrained, tear blurred, blood-shot eyes I could see that his lungs were starting to turn black on the edges and the white was disappearing.
With this positive news, I returned more hopeful to my wife and waited my next visit. At 10 am they started the transfusion and it was finished. At noon I stopped by and check on him again before running some errands. They said that he was starting to show signs of hypertension and had called a cardiologist to check his cardiac function and make sure it was all ok. They mentioned the possibility of putting in a catheter through a bigger artery to administer some medication more directly to the heart and lungs to help them get stronger, so that they could possibly start weaning him from the ventilator sooner.
And that brings me to right now, 3:00 pm on 9/29. We're lacking 4 hours and 44 minutes to the end of this first day, which if you watched any episode of 24 you know the most exciting part doesn't come until the second to last hour and there's still time to save the world 3 times over. So, mama sleeps while daddy keeps watch, waiting for more news on our little Kai.
I'm beginning to catch a glimpse of God's heart in this. In the last 20 hours of life, I have fallen more in love with the kid than I thought possible and I would do anything, ANYTHING to protect him. I see my child, ravaged by some infection threatening his existence, and I would give every drop of my blood to cleanse his system, gladly taking his disease into my own body and even dying if it meant he would live. I don't say that flippantly, but in all seriousness. I would give everything to see him healthy, whole, and living. How does that match God's love? The One who, seeing sin's deadly infection, eroding the heart and life of man, gave up His Son, His life, pouring out His blood, to cleanse our infected body. He took our sickness so that we could be healthy, whole, and living. Now I understand in a whole new way what it means to experience the love of a father, unconditional, willing to sacrifice everything for my cherished creation. Thank you Father for allowing me a glimpse into your heart!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
36 weeks - the countdown begins!
Final month and the fun really begins. I've decided that waiting for a baby is just as bad, if not worse, than waiting for Christmas, your birthday, or any vacation for that matter. The closer it gets, the slower that time seems to go. Right now I think time has converted into an 80 year old man with rheumatoid arthritis, a double hip replacement, and about 30 pounds of lead in his shorts. Each second seems like an eternity.
A week ago we finished the nursery, as Lisa is posing in front of the crib. You can see the pictures on Facebook. Everything is ready for him to come, the only thing missing is him! The crib is built, nursery painted, clothes put away, decorations up, closet organized, hospital bag packed, car seat installed, diapers ready, and just time to wait for Kai to make his grand appearance.
At 36 weeks now, Kai is gaining weight at about an ounce each day, but I personally think he is gaining more. According to our most recent ultrasound, Kai weighs 6 pounds 6 ounces and all his measurements he is about a week ahead of development still. Lisa has been having more frequent Braxton Hicks contractions and even had one in the OB visit. The doc saw it and she basically told us that he can come at any time. She was 40% effaced and about 1 cm dilated, with the baby in the perfect position and engaged, at least from what I understood. Essentially, the baby is ready and we're just waiting on him. The doc and most others think that he will come early and Lisa is praying that way.
Kai should be starting to shed that fine coating of hair (lanugo) that he's been sporting, as well as the vernix caseosa, a waxy substance that has protected his skin during this little trip in the fish bowl. He is swallowing both of these in the amniotic fluid, along with the other secretions, and these all mix together to become that wonderful substance I mentioned in the last post: meconium.
At 37 weeks Kai will be considered full term. Last night Lisa didn't sleep at all because she was having BH contractions (Braxton Hicks) all night at intervals of 5-20 minutes apart. This could either be early labor or false labor. We are hoping for the former and not the latter. After last night, Lisa I think officially issued the eviction notice to her little tenant and is ready for him to move to a bigger location, namely the nursery. It's all over now, except the waiting. Jesus, please have mercy on my wife and give her relief from this 9-months of torturous blessing! Thank you for the miracle, but please make him come soon!
Week 35 - So close and yet so far!
Kai is now officially too big for the uterus. Lisa feels like she is about to explode any minute now and all day long is just uncomfortable. Kai is out of room in the womb and it's obvious he agrees. He thrashes and moves all the time, like someone who just can't get in a good position.
According to Baby Center, he is just over 18 inches long and weighs around 5.5 pounds or so, about the size of a honeydew melon. His physical development is basically complete, aside from the remaining development of his lungs, and all he does now is take up room and put on weight. His kidneys are fully developed and functional and his liver can now process some waste products, which will turn into a wonderful tar-like substance called meconium, something I'll have to deal with according to Lisa...her first present to me as a daddy. YAH!!
It's rather obvious now where Kai is at all times, as he has no room for hiding because he doesn't fit anywhere anymore. It's really funny when he gets the hiccups (a bout that usually lasts for 20 minutes or so) because Lisa's whole belly will just bounce rhythmically as he hiccups. So cute! There are no more somersaults or spins, just stretching and kicking as he attempts to make more room in his one room little apartment. Lisa started threatening him with an eviction recently. I think she is about done with pregnancy! Only 5 weeks to go now!
Friday, September 9, 2011
Week 34 - Our little Cantaloupe!
Ok, according to Baby Center, Kai should now be about 4 3/4 pounds, the size of a cantaloupe, and roughly 18 inches long; however, Kai isn't following the "standard." We did another 4D ultrasound and the doc says that Kai weighs about 5 pounds 9 ounces, so he is running ahead of schedule. Actually, according to all his measurements, he is about 5-7 days ahead of development and the estimated delivery date by his size is October 14th. We are actually hoping for a little sooner than that, but we'll see. His fat layers are rounding out, which will help control his body temperature after birth. He is definitely getting little chubbier. On the ultrasound you could barely see much because he is so cramped, but we got a good look at his chubby cheeks and he has definitely put on weight.
Kai also dropped in the past week or so and is sitting very low. We have another appointment in 2 weeks and from there it is every single week. The doc says that he is in position early, head down, face to the back, and ready to go. Lisa hasn't started dilating yet, but apparently as soon as the baby drops dilation is soon to follow, so we'll see what happens in the next few weeks. Lisa officially started writing an eviction notice for Kai and is ready to kick this tenant out of her womb. She is generally uncomfortable all day long, can't sit, lay, lean, or sleep for any period of time. I've never seen my wife so fidgety! Well, only 5 1/2 more weeks to go, babe. Time is flying and the clock is ticking. CAN'T WAIT!!!
Week 33 - getting closer and daddy is getting nervous!
A change of backgrounds. We are currently in the process of moving houses and living in a temporary apartment at the lake camp while the house we will be living in is vacated. We will be moving into a fellow missionaries house while they are on itineration but they don't leave for another 2 weeks and we had to leave our apartment because the contract was up. That's why I haven't been Johnny on the spot with the posts. We don't have internet currently so I can't really upload pictures and such if I don't have internet.
Anyway, enough excuses. Kai is now 33 weeks old and getting bigger by the day. I'm now at the point of pulling my hair out and stressing occasionally. Every time I leave the house without Lisa, I always make sure that my phone is on me and that I know the quickest route back home and to the hospital. This whole waiting and not knowing the day or the hour thing drives me crazy. Maybe pregnancy is a good illustration for the Rapture...no man knows the day or the hour, but the Father knows. Cheesy pastor-type comment number 1.
The baby now weighs 4 pounds, about the weight of a pineapple, and he is over 17 inches long. These are all the estimates given by baby center, not the exact ones for Kai. His skeleton is starting to harden more and more, although I'm convinced that all children are made of rubber until they are 2 years old. His skin is also smoothing out as he gains weight and fattens up for life on the outside of the fishbowl. His bones won't fuse together until much later. He needs this rubbery quality to exit the birth canal. I actually think that the real "miracle" of birth is the actual exodus from the womb. How does a baby that big fit through an opening that small? Wow!
Anyway, all our preparations for the baby are on hold as we wait to be able to move into our house. All our stuff is crammed into one room at their house until we move in. We are just praying that he doesn't come right now, at least until we can get in, unpack, build the crib, and paint the nursery. Then he is welcome to come!
Week 32
So, for week 32, Kai weighs 3.75 pounds (about the size of a large jicama). Not exactly sure what a jicama is, so check at your local grocer's produce section for a comparison. =) He also is roughly 16.7 inches long and continuing to grow. He is quickly running out of room in the womb, which we notice by the fact that now his little feet extend all the way up into Lisa's rib cage. He regularly plays xylophone on her ribs and punches on her hips bones. I can only imagine what that must feel like, but from the reactions I get from Lisa, I don't think I want to know.
He now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (something that daddy is quickly loosing). Lisa is about done with this pregnancy at this point and ready to have this child out of her. It's kinda funny, I must admit. She enjoyed the second trimester, for the most part, but now is at the point of really wanting this baby gone. He has overstayed his welcome and mama's ready to kick the bird from the nest. Should be interesting to see how this develops in the next few weeks.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
31 weeks down, 9 to go
Well, this almost seems to be getting routine, my weekly or not so weekly posts. Kai is now just over 16 inches long, according to Baby Center (I personally think the kid is already the length of a decent size small forward) and weighs about 3.3 pounds. This apparently the weight of 4 navel oranges. Wait a second...how'd we go from a single fruit to suddenly four? Did my kid divide and multiply?? I certainly hope not! I only have room for one right now!
He is now heading into a growth spurt, one of many in his life if he is anything like daddy. He is going through major brain and nerve developments as he prepares for birth. His irises now react to light and all five senses are in working order, except he won't be smelling anything until after he is born. That's something to think about. How do they know all five senses are in working order? How do you test that in the womb? I had a friend born without a sense of smell, actually friend and former roommate. So how do they know that they all work if you can't test them out? Weird...
Kai can turn his little head from side to side and he is starting to pack on the fat underneath his skin. They say that the baby grows the most in these last few weeks (something I know Lisa isn't entirely thankful for!). He is doing less and less kicking and more and more stretching as his space inside his fishbowl gets smaller and smaller. He is getting more pink in color as opposed to red in color (once again, how can you tell if he is in the womb still?) They say he won't start dropping for another few weeks, but he definitely has! It's rather obvious that he's dropped, especially when Lisa lies down and you see a massive bump under her belly button. The plus side is she can breath better and doesn't fight heartburn as much and the negative is that she has to pee a whole lot more! Oh well.
Lisa is definitely done with pregnancy, tired of feeling so huge, hot, tired, etc. I'm semi-ready for him to get here, but not completely. There are some days I'm soooo excited and can't wait and then there are days that I'm in total freak out mode. It is getting more and more real the closer we get and I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to be a daddy. I want to be one, but ready, well, we'll see once he gets here. We crossed the whole point of no return thing about 8 months ago, so I don't really have a choice. It's interesting because my whole life I've wanted a family and looked forward to being a dad. Now that it is becoming a reality, I'm not sure I'm cut out for this. It scares me to think that from this point on I will ALWAYS be a dad! That will never change. Scary!
Another thing I've noticed is that time has started doing that weird a-day-seems-like-a-thousand-years thing that it does right before vacations and any holiday that brings gifts. Even though we've gone through 31 weeks of pregnancy and they seem to have gone so fast, this last few weeks have started to cccccrrrrraaaaawwwwwwllllll. Please Kai, hurry up and get here! I'm ready to be done with the waiting. Honestly, if those of you out there reading want to help us pray, we're praying that he comes a little early. Not premie, but that he is done developing early and comes. I don't wanna wait for a late baby!
Anyway, that's about all I have to say about that. More once week 32 gets here!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Week 30
HOORAY FOR WEEK 30! Lisa finally got some new maternity clothes! We were able to make a trip to the US to spend time with family and hold a couple baby showers for Kai, and as an added bonus, Lisa could buy more clothes that fit. Therefore, in this picture, you see the new and improved prego Lisa! YAY!!
Kai is now about 15.7-16 inches long and weighs about 3 pounds, according to Baby Center, which is about the size of a head of lettuce or a squash. He is definitely getting bigger and running out of room fast! There is about a pint and a half of amniotic fluid around him, but that steadily gets smaller and smaller as he grows. His eyesight is developing, but will take some time for it to be developed completely. He will only have about 20/400 eyesight when born, meaning he can only see things a few inches from his face. Kinda funny that we are born with poor eyesight and many of us return to poor eyesight as we get older. =) He is also getting stronger and can now actually grasp a finger pretty firmly. Not sure how they would test that, I guess with a premie or something.
We go in 2 weeks to see him again and it seems like FOREVER since we last saw his little face. I miss seeing him and if I was rich like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, I'd buy my own machine and hire a technician to do daily ultrasounds. Oh well....lifestyles of the rich and famous.
Lisa is now passing into the most uncomfortable time of pregnancy, in the third trimester. She has heartburn almost daily, which gets worse in the evening causing her not to sleep. She has to use the restroom about every 30-45 minutes, sometimes sooner, which also means she has to cut herself off from drinking at 6 pm. She doesn't sleep well, can't walk around much, etc. It really makes for a fun time! It is a very common occurrence for her to use the restroom right before we leave and then right as we go down the street from home I hear, "Ummm...I need to use the bathroom again." If that kid could leaver her bladder alone, life would be so much easier. =) I think this is all just preparation for actually having a child, because we have scoped out and know where all the bathrooms are in each department store, gas station, pharmacy, etc. Oh well, such is life.
Lisa also can't really do a whole lot of walking around, which we have noticed as we go shopping. We took a trip to Disney for our 3rd anniversary and after a couple hours of walking around, she overheated and got way too tired, which is understandable as it was like a million degrees outside. So, instead of leaving and cutting our anniversary celebration short, I got her a chair and pushed around the park. You know you have hit the hard stage of pregnancy when you gotta ride a wheelchair around a theme park. I think she may have felt a little embarrassed, but it actually made it easier for her and got us some special treatment at the park, something I was thankful for. =)
So, enough of week 30. Week 31 coming soon! Less than 70 days left!
Friday, August 5, 2011
Week 29 - 76 Days left!!!! I'm so excited!!!!!!!
76 DAYS!!! Sweet Fancy Moses we're getting close! I can't wait to be a daddy. I honestly think that every single day goes by like an eternity. We are currently in the states visiting family, having baby showers, etc. and it is getting so exciting, but the days have come to a screeching halt. I'm so ready for him to get here so we can see him, hold him, touch him, play with him, etc. but time is no longer flying because I'm so ready. It's like the old saying goes, "A watched pot never boils;" a watched tummy, gives birth to no baby! AAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!
On another note, all this buying baby stuff (which by the way makes me freak out about money) makes the whole pregnancy thing is so much more exciting and real. We have clothes, bottles, bags, toys, teethers, and so many other thing, but we're buying it all at the same time. Typically, people will buy this junk a little at a time, but we get to buy it all at the same time AND buy maternity clothes AND buy stuff we need. Thank you Jesus that you provide! =)
So, Kai is now about 2.5 - 3 pounds, according to Baby Center, and is now over 15 inches long. He is officially the size of a Butternut Squash. His muscles and lungs are continuing to mature and his head is growing bigger to make room for his developing brain. Really, this part of pregnancy isn't all that exciting. He's getting fatter, filling out, fine tuning the development process, etc. Nothing new is happening, no new limbs are sprouting (at least we hope not!), no extra nubbins, no more toes, nada, zip, zilch. Everything is in place and preparing itself for life outside the womb.
Due to his rapid growth and weight gain, Kai is now filling the space in that little sac of fluid. He dropped yesterday and now sits lower, which Lisa is thankful for. He is still every bit as active, but it is obvious that he is cramped. You can now feel him on all sides at the same time and if you press on one side, you see him bulge on the other. =) It's kinda cute, not gonna lie.
This whole process has been long and exciting and we are so ready for little Kai to get here. I can't wait to see his cute little face and hold him for the first time. Just 2 1/2 months left!!!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Week 28 - Welcome to the third trimester!
83 more days until Kai arrives and times seems to have slowed to a screeching halt. After seeing the 4D ultrasound, we are soooooo very excited about him and can't wait to see him in real life and not on a computer screen. It's amazing to me that we are now in the third trimester and, like many other things in life, time seems to have flown by while at the same time it's hard to remember life before pregnancy. Daily Lisa complains about backpack that she carries in front and it's only gonna get bigger from here.
Kai is now about 15 inches from head to toe and weighs the same as chinese cabbage, about 2 1/4 pounds, although the doctor said he weighs around 3 pounds. I'm not sure how they figured that out, but whatever. His feet are 2 inches long and he still has 3 months to grow!
His lungs are now mature enough that he could survive outside the womb with medical help and his skin is nice and wrinkly (because he lives in a fishbowl), although it will all smooth out as he fattens up. He can now blink his eyes and show off those new eyelashes that have grown in. His eyes are developing and he can now see light that filters in from outside the womb. His brain is rapidly developing billions of little neurons to run that smart little brain. It's all downhill from here. The next 3 months are pure growth and weight gain, much to Lisa's dismay. =)
He is more active than ever and does flips, kicks, punches, etc. He is facing down, in the proper exit position, which is a good thing. He can still move around some and may flip a couple times, but the last few ultrasounds have shown him in the downward position, which is great. I think he is as ready as we are. We have no real problems if he wants to come early and according to measurements he is due on October 14th, but the due date is still October 19th. Babies grow differently and so whatever, I hope he comes early.
Now for the bump picture. Here is Lisa at 28 weeks
And here is how big Lisa thinks she is
Kai is now about 15 inches from head to toe and weighs the same as chinese cabbage, about 2 1/4 pounds, although the doctor said he weighs around 3 pounds. I'm not sure how they figured that out, but whatever. His feet are 2 inches long and he still has 3 months to grow!
His lungs are now mature enough that he could survive outside the womb with medical help and his skin is nice and wrinkly (because he lives in a fishbowl), although it will all smooth out as he fattens up. He can now blink his eyes and show off those new eyelashes that have grown in. His eyes are developing and he can now see light that filters in from outside the womb. His brain is rapidly developing billions of little neurons to run that smart little brain. It's all downhill from here. The next 3 months are pure growth and weight gain, much to Lisa's dismay. =)
He is more active than ever and does flips, kicks, punches, etc. He is facing down, in the proper exit position, which is a good thing. He can still move around some and may flip a couple times, but the last few ultrasounds have shown him in the downward position, which is great. I think he is as ready as we are. We have no real problems if he wants to come early and according to measurements he is due on October 14th, but the due date is still October 19th. Babies grow differently and so whatever, I hope he comes early.
Now for the bump picture. Here is Lisa at 28 weeks
And here is how big Lisa thinks she is
Monday, July 25, 2011
4D Ultrasound
Well, wonders never cease! Technology absolutely amazes me. We went today for our 28 week check up and ultrasound. Then we went to get a 4D ultrasound done, which is amazing by the way. I'm gonna post pictures below, at least a few, but you can find the rest and the videos on facebook, in case you're wondering.
Even though we had a lot of fun doing all this today, let me just say that we dropped nearly $400 in medical bills, half of which was a vaccination that Lisa had to receive because she is O- and I'm A+. It is to give Lisa's body anitbodies of Rh D so that her blood won't attack Kai in case he is +. Fun fun! That shot alone cost us $182!! What the junk! I nearly cut my finger off 2 years ago, went to the ER here in El Salvador, got stitches, and everything and it only cost $180! Unbelievable. So, add up the consult fees, ultrasounds (2 of them), more meds and supplements, and the vaccination, all this made for one exciting and expensive day. Oh well, we can't wait for Kai to show up.
Well, without further ado, here are a taste of some of our 4D pics and the 28 week ultrasound. Enjoy!
Even though we had a lot of fun doing all this today, let me just say that we dropped nearly $400 in medical bills, half of which was a vaccination that Lisa had to receive because she is O- and I'm A+. It is to give Lisa's body anitbodies of Rh D so that her blood won't attack Kai in case he is +. Fun fun! That shot alone cost us $182!! What the junk! I nearly cut my finger off 2 years ago, went to the ER here in El Salvador, got stitches, and everything and it only cost $180! Unbelievable. So, add up the consult fees, ultrasounds (2 of them), more meds and supplements, and the vaccination, all this made for one exciting and expensive day. Oh well, we can't wait for Kai to show up.
Well, without further ado, here are a taste of some of our 4D pics and the 28 week ultrasound. Enjoy!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Week 27 - Kai-liflower....punny, I know
Lisa's belly is now large and in charge. She is definitely growing like crazy. The other day I looked back to check out the difference between week 6 when we had just found out and now, HOLY GUACAMOLE that belly is big! It's funny but I can't even really remember her before the pregnancy. I know that may sound bad, but really it isn't. Think about it, 6 months now of constant growth and I've seen her body change so much over that period of time, it really is hard to imagine her NOT pregnant. Well, she is definitely ready for this little adventure to be over. She has crossed the line from the time when your body feels the best during pregnancy to the time when everything is uncomfortable. She says she is wearing the world's most uncomfortable fanny pack. Trust me, I know when she isn't comfortable, I get to hear about it. Not that I mind rubbing a shoulder, putting lotion on her legs after she shaves, rubbing her foot, checking out that bug bite on the side of her toe that she can no longer see, etc. When she starts asking me to shave her legs, I may have to draw the line. =)
So, if you hadn't guessed, this week's food reference is the cauliflower, that unloved little white brain that mean parents force their children to eat. I'm not a fan at all of the cauliflower and thebump.com compares him to an eggplant still, thank God. He weighs about 2 pounds (the size of cauliflower) and is roughly 14.5 inches long with his legs extended, although that is a rough estimate. Being my child, he's likely to be 18 inches long by now and all legs. He is currently a thinner, redder, more wrinkled version of what he will be at birth (although I've determined that all newborns look like a California Raisin and ET had a love child) and will be filling out a lot now in the coming weeks. Everything has fairly well developed and he could actually survive outside the womb, albeit with a lot of medical help. He will now just be growing and putting on weight, a process he won't stop doing until he dies, thanks to my genetics. He'll be growing until he is 28 years old and eating like a garbage disposal without really gaining weight. =) Lord, help our budget!
His immune system is continuing to mature and prepare for the real world. His lungs and respiratory system are going through some major developments now, with his previously plugged up nose now opening. He is now regularly practicing inhaling and exhaling, although it's only amniotic fluid right now. If he is blessed with my wonderful array of allergic symptoms, he better get used to breathing water because those nose passages won't ever be open. He'll be breathing snot for the rest of his life. I'm praying hard that he doesn't inherit that side of me. Dashing good looks - yes, height - sure, humor - most definintely, allergies - Lord, please no!
He is now sleeping at regular intervals, however some days I wonder if he sleeps at all. Lisa says that he moves non-stop some days...yep, definitely my child. He's now opening and closing his eyes, moving fingers, sucking fingers, his brain is developing rapidly (gonna be smart like daddy and mommy), and now he is starting to get hiccups. Actually, that part is quite funny. You can feel a rhythmic movement in her stomach when he has them and if you watch carefully, you may even see her belly move in sync with his hiccups. So cute!
I admit that I'm getting more and more excited about being a daddy, but at the same time so scared I might wet myself. It's a delicate balance. On Monday we go for our 28 week checkup and Lisa gets to get a Rhogam vaccination because she's Rh- and I'm Rh+. This way if Kai is Rh+, her body won't attack him and think he is an infection, even though babies are the only form of parasitic life that we actually encourage. Just food for thought. We also will be doing a 3D or 4D ultrasound, whatever it is. These kinds of ultrasounds actually give you a very accurate picture of what your baby looks like. It maps the baby's body and face, giving you a real view at what your kid looks like. I've seen the pictures of the ultrasounds and the baby after they are born. It is amazing how close it is. I'm so excited. Don't worry, I'll have the pictures up as soon as possible. =)
Friday, July 15, 2011
Week 26 - Less than 100 days left!
Kai is continuing to fatten up, putting on some weight and baby fat. He now weighs nearly 2 pounds and is over 14 inches long, the size of a Hothouse cucumber. His little body is starting to fine tune his senses. The optical nerve is developing and he is now able to distinguish between the light and the dark. I think that he happens to like the dark. I say this because sometimes we'll lay down at night and I'll have my iPod with me and I'll put it up to the belly to try and see him move and then he suddenly goes from right on the surface to deeper in the womb. Definitely a sleeper!
The nerves in his ears are also developing and he is more sensitive to sounds from outside the womb. He has already been learning Lisa's voice, her inflection, speech rhythm, voice patterns, etc. Now he is able to hear my voice, even if I'm not right next to her belly. It is amazing to me that at this point he is now able to not only hear our voices and memorize our patterns and differences, but he is recording all the things that he hears outside the womb. He is creating memories and even has dreams. I've often wondered what a baby has to dream about, but he is dreaming and making memories. What would happen if we could recall our memories from inside the womb? What would we remember? A fight? Loving words between mom and dad? The TV?
He is continuing to breath the amniotic fluid, practicing the motion that will keep him alive for the rest of his life and developing those little air sacs in his lungs. His body is soaking up antibodies from mama and preparing his little immune system to keep himself alive outside the protective shell of the womb. His eyes are forming, although he still can't see yet, and his eyelids will soon start practicing the blinking motion. What an amazing process life is! God is such an amazing God of wonders, creating such a wonderful, intricate process that brings life into the world. Thank you God for blessing us with such a beautiful little life, for entrusting us with the responsibility of raising a child. Less than 100 days to go and I'm getting PUMPED!
Week 25 - My little Eggplant!
15 weeks! I can't even begin to say how incredibly excited I'm getting. It's hard to believe that it has gone by so fast! This week Kai weighs around a pound and a half and is 13.5 - 14 inches long, although I think he's bigger than that! One website says he's the size of a rutabaga and the other an eggplant. I personally prefer the eggplant, as I don't even think I know someone that has eaten a rutabaga and I certainly don't know what they look like, except for what Wikipedia shows me. So, we're gonna go with eggplant.
His little body is starting to fill out with more and more baby fat, taking away that lean, wrinkly look and creating a smoother appearance, making him look more like a newborn each day. He is also growing more hair, which apparently if we could see in the womb we could tell it's color and texture. I'm hoping that he has a nice reddish tint to his hair, paying homage to his Irish roots. I didn't say I wanted a red-head, cause we all know that red-heads are a handful. I just want a nice reddish tint. And then I want him to have his mama's wavy hair. My straight, thick (well, it used to be thick) hair just isn't as much fun as some wavy locks.
Kai is also developing his sense of equilibrium, meaning he is learning to distinguish right-side up from up-side down. Trust me, he likes to go back and forth between the two. He does flips and spins all day long it seems like. If this is any indication, I think he inherited his daddy's energy level...sorry, Lisa! I just hope that he inherits her sleep habits. Let him be energetic when it's time to be awake, but then I want that boy to crash!
It's getting harder and harder counting the days. In some ways I'm ready for him to come, but in so many others I know there is still a lot to do and prepare. Soon we'll be able to start preparing a nursery and trust me, Lisa already has that "nesting" urge growing more each day. Can't wait to see you and hold you, Kai!!!!!
Week 24
Oh, more fun in Nicaragua. I've been out of town and so I missed 2 weeks and now I have to play catch up. Oh well. Such is life, at least I'm trying to stay on top of things. =)
So, week 24 came and went and Kai is continuing to grow. I'm pretty sure that at this point he is just putting on weight. He weighs just over a pound and is about a foot long, the size of an ear of corn. I can't say that I've ever looked at a piece of corn (or any item in the produce section) and thought about comparing its size to that of a developing child. It really puts my local grocer's fresh produce aisle come to life. =) He now looks like a complete human, just lacking all the baby fat. Pretty much looks like an anorexic little baby, at least that's what I envision. His brain is continuing to rapidly develop and his taste buds are also forming still.
His lungs are developing the little branches and air sacs that will one day be filled with life-giving oxygen. They are also producing the cells that will produce surfactant, a substance that will help his little lungs inflate with air once he leaves his watery home, trading the fish pool for the real world.
We can tell that Kai is growing, because Lisa's tummy just continues to stick farther and farther out. Her belly button is now an outie for the most part. She always said she never wanted that to happen, but "POP" it's out! It's also amazing to actually watch her stomach move with Kai's activity. You can see the bumps, kicks, punches, stretches, hiccups, etc. It really is pretty cool to watch. Only 16 weeks to go!
Friday, June 24, 2011
My fun little game!
So, I just wanted to share this because it has been really exciting the past couple of weeks. Kai has become really active now and moves around non-stop it seems like. Lisa is always saying, "Man, he is doing flips or something in there!" It is such a cool experience to feel Kai moving around, kicking, punching, etc.
I've actually made all of this into a fun little game. We take time regularly, either in the morning or evening to play with and talk to Kai. We sing to him, talk with him, pray with him, etc. It's not just fun to talk with him and feel him move around, but he actually responds to our voices and actions. When I sing to him, I'll sing a line, pressing on him with each word, and then I pause and he kicks back. I do the same when I talk with him or pray with him. He kicks in response to each line and it is such an amazing experience to already be playing with Kai and developing a relationship. It's hard to express, but I already feel a bond with him and at moments I cry because of the emotion I feel and the love that is growing in my heart, a love that is different than any other. I really don't have the words to express it adequately, which is a unique experience for me, being a man of sooooooooooooooo many words.
So, like I said, our little game is a great deal of fun. I could play for hours with him, but he eventually gets tuckered out and stops moving around so much. I take that back, I think he gets bored of my games and plays dead, knowing that I'll lose interest after about 5 minutes and as soon as I walk away, Lisa says, "Man, he is rolling like crazy." Oh Kai, you little opossum you! I pretty much have guessed that he DOESN'T like when I lay my head on her belly. I actually think I heard his heartbeat the other day and I lay down on her stomach to listen and feel him move around. When I do, he starts kicking my head and then moves to the other side. "Get off me, dad!" is what I imagine he is saying.
Also, I'm pretty sure that Kai loves sticking his little butt up against Lisa's belly. It's funny cause you can see her belly lop-sided when he is pressed against one side and if you feel it, you can definitely feel a little round bump that isn't his head. Yes, he has already develop the Sears bump! And, sometimes you can feel him from rump to head, tracing a long hard line down his back. It really is cool to do that! Lisa also says that he is going to be a baby that needs to be swaddled. She says he likes to find the little nooks and crannies of her uterus to hide in. "Oh look a fallopian tube, perfect place for my foot!"
God is such an amazing Creator and to witness this little body developing just confirms how amazing and loving He is. I can't imagine feeling the love of a father yet and won't really know until Kai is born, but if it is anything like what God feels for us, His love is incomprehensible and vast.
I've actually made all of this into a fun little game. We take time regularly, either in the morning or evening to play with and talk to Kai. We sing to him, talk with him, pray with him, etc. It's not just fun to talk with him and feel him move around, but he actually responds to our voices and actions. When I sing to him, I'll sing a line, pressing on him with each word, and then I pause and he kicks back. I do the same when I talk with him or pray with him. He kicks in response to each line and it is such an amazing experience to already be playing with Kai and developing a relationship. It's hard to express, but I already feel a bond with him and at moments I cry because of the emotion I feel and the love that is growing in my heart, a love that is different than any other. I really don't have the words to express it adequately, which is a unique experience for me, being a man of sooooooooooooooo many words.
So, like I said, our little game is a great deal of fun. I could play for hours with him, but he eventually gets tuckered out and stops moving around so much. I take that back, I think he gets bored of my games and plays dead, knowing that I'll lose interest after about 5 minutes and as soon as I walk away, Lisa says, "Man, he is rolling like crazy." Oh Kai, you little opossum you! I pretty much have guessed that he DOESN'T like when I lay my head on her belly. I actually think I heard his heartbeat the other day and I lay down on her stomach to listen and feel him move around. When I do, he starts kicking my head and then moves to the other side. "Get off me, dad!" is what I imagine he is saying.
Also, I'm pretty sure that Kai loves sticking his little butt up against Lisa's belly. It's funny cause you can see her belly lop-sided when he is pressed against one side and if you feel it, you can definitely feel a little round bump that isn't his head. Yes, he has already develop the Sears bump! And, sometimes you can feel him from rump to head, tracing a long hard line down his back. It really is cool to do that! Lisa also says that he is going to be a baby that needs to be swaddled. She says he likes to find the little nooks and crannies of her uterus to hide in. "Oh look a fallopian tube, perfect place for my foot!"
God is such an amazing Creator and to witness this little body developing just confirms how amazing and loving He is. I can't imagine feeling the love of a father yet and won't really know until Kai is born, but if it is anything like what God feels for us, His love is incomprehensible and vast.
Week 23 - Not even born and he's already an international traveler!
Man is that tummy getting big! It's so cool! So, we were thinking about Kai and all that he's done already since he was conceived. He's traveled through 4 different countries and he's not even born yet! That's more than many people do in their entire life. Just thought that was kinda funny. And, just in what we have planned in the future, he'll visit the US, El Salvador, Costa Rica, and possibly Ecuador. Just amazing how much he gets to do being a little MK (Missionary Kid).
So, this week, now that I'm back on track, Kai is officially the size of a large mango. He weighs just over a pound, though it seems like he should weigh so much more by now if you go by Lisa's belly size. He is more than 11 inches long and I'm sure a lot of that is leg. Baby Center says that now Kai's sense of movement is well developed and he can feel the movement from walking, running, and even dancing. It also says that you can see him move under your clothes, but we discovered that last week.
Blood vessels in his lungs are developing to prepare for breathing, which is always a good thing, and his hearing is becoming more keen. His little cochlea (the inner ear part that houses all the parts for hearing) is fully formed. He can hear what we hear, but not necessarily at the same level. The sounds and stuff are obviously muffled by the belly, muscles, and all that fluid in there. Studies show that babies at 5 months begin recording sounds from the outside, learn the rhythm of speech patterns from mommy, and can even start distinguishing the pitch and speech pattern of people. They begin recording memories and dream. I can't imagine what in the world Kai is dreaming about, but it can't be too exciting. I mean, all the kid gets is sound from outside, food coming in the little tube attached to his belly, and he swims around all day. What could he possibly dream about? Sushi? Yogurt?
I really like what The Bump has to say about this week. "Baby's little face is fully formed--minus the baby fat of course. The next task at hand: sprouting two teeny-tiny nipples." I'm not sure why, but the word "nipple" still makes me giggle and especially when it says sprout. I get the image in my head of cartoon farmland bowing up under the pressure of the seed and then "pop, pop" two little flowers sprout. For some reason, that's the way I imagine his little chest creating nipples. POP, POP, just like popcorn and they're there! Tada!
Man it feels good to be all caught up on this blog!
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